living my way

i like complicated things, i can’t live like a normal human being. if there is a complicated way to do something, i will stand in line for it and kick anyone who tries to stop me.

the latest thing is that i decided i should be in cuba in 2 weeks. it does not matter that the flight costs 3 times more than it usually does. it does not matter that i don’t have enough time to get all the vaccines i need so i’ll have to smuggle the last one into the country and then find someone to inject it to me.  NOTHING MATTERS.


best idea ever, no?

the funniest thing would be not getting visa after all this trouble and expenses. funniest thing ever.


if you think shoreditch is full of wanna-be artist, you are wrong. it’s full of people like me, who obviously have nothing better to do and, for example, buy bunch of wiggly eyes and have nowhere to put them.

so if you walk around somewhere there and notice something is looking at you and it should not be looking at you, now you know who to blame.

christmas in london

the fact is that i’m getting too old for this shit.

so i woke up and it turned out that there were no tube or buses running. i thought about it and decided this was definitely not an issue and went to the center on foot, which makes one way not including walking around in the center) 10.5km. to my huge disappointment central london did not seem empty at all so i turned around and walked back.  and while walking i was so proud of myself and kept on thinking i was so brilliant, walking over 20km was a piece of cake for me. PIECE OF CAKE.
that is until the next morning when i woke up and my legs refused to walk at all.
never ever again in my life. 2km from now on is my limit, my age does not allow me to walk even 1 cm further. and in general, someone should push me around in a chair as a fancy old lady.


talking about the transport and its perks, two young men next to me snored coke from iphone6 on the tube on saturday. this city is going to turn to new york soon, watch my word.


are you alive already? gg writes me at the midday on sunday.

i’m rolling in my bed and eating doughnuts, i respond.

sounds healthy, he says and tells me to pick a place for sunday roast, although he’s not allowed to eat meat because of the high cholesterol.

the types of risk we take have changed so much.


i am a weak person. and also i am greedy – a very bad combination. i screamed how much i needed the third round of sushi the other night, but as soon as it arrived and i swallowed the first piece i realised i should stop eating right away or i would puke everything i managed to squeeze into myself already out. it’s a good thing gg is a rubbish bin and finished my portion as there are penalties for leftovers.  all the way to the pub afterwards i was complaining and breathing heavily.

this was my last buffet, i swear. i did the calculation, i did not eat enough to cover the cost, this is unacceptable.

or maybe this should be my last calculation, would be so much easier…